I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
