google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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