you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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