i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
