Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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