I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The power of my boobs compel you
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
