you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
