It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
