I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
