He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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