I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
