Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
