Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
God, I missed his penis.
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