My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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