Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
