We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
