he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
