I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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