so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
