So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
