I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so explain again why im purple
no
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
