We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
