That's intense
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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