he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
