i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
