you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
