worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
