I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
