I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
