he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
