Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
