i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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