Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
