Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
