its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
