You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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