nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
