i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
