he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
me + whiskey = a bad person
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
