Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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