i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
