Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
