Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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