Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How does one acquire holy water?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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