You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
