I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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