Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
