thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
