what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just gargled with NyQuil
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
