Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
