More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
