Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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