you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
