Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
