I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
