watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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