Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
